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Gumageddon

I am hella tired this morning. I went to an event to support a coworker so I didn’t get in until almost midnight which means I didn’t go to bed until 1:30ish. Anyway, something happened at the event that I’ve been thinking about all morning. Before the event, we went to dinner and my genius self decided to get a burger with onions – not thinking about the fact that I was going to be meeting a bunch of new people. So when we got there and I started talking to people, I became self-conscious about my breath situation and started frantically searching my purse for gum, mints, candy…anything. The guy I was sitting next to heard me ask my coworkers for gum and he said, “I’ll find you some gum.” I smiled and didn’t think anything of it…went back to talking to my coworkers. About 10 minutes later, he tapped me on my shoulder and extended his hand. I looked down and saw a white object. It took me a few minutes to realize it was gum…an unwrapped piece of gum fondled by him and whoever he got it from!😳😩😩 I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I wasn’t eating that damn gum. He looked so happy and proud that he found me that piece of gum that I didn’t want to be rude. He didn’t know he was handing germ wrapped gum to a girl with over 10 packs of individually wrapped hand wipes in her purse. That poor fellow didn’t know I was having visions of the faceless person who gave him the gum digging in their nose and visions of him scratching his nuts.😔 He was just a nice guy standing there with his hand extended, offering the new lady the gum she was frantically searching for earlier. Either that or he reeeallly thought I needed it.😂😂😂 After all of those thoughts stopped running through my head, I found my manners, took the gum, thanked him with the kindest smile I could paste on my face, and slid that filthy white wax ball in my pocket. Then I spent the rest of the damn evening wondering what it was about me that made him think I would eat that gum. And, here I sit this morning wondering the same thing.😩
SN: I had some great conversations with strangers last night, including gum man. I had to do an exercise with him that sparked a very interesting conversation. And, I didn’t feel any remorse hitting him with every H & W word I could think of. Remember, he did try to poison me with a bacteria tablet. So we are even in my book.😜

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