MartaMe · MisoMe

My neck, my back…my neck and my back

This morning is not starting off well.    I am testing out pillows for a coworker and I needed to return the one I decided not to test, so in addition to my normal backpack and purse, I am lugging a king pillow. I already resolved it was going to be a cumbersome journey today.  But, I never thought it would start at the gate!  I planned to use the wider gate, but a girl with only a purse was blocking it while scrambling for her card.  I heard the train so, I decided to use a regular gate. I tapped my card and instead of the gate opening, I received the red X indicating I needed to try it again.  I tapped it again and the gates opened, but it closed so fast that only the pillow and the majority of my body made it through.  My bag, purse and left arm remained on the other side of the closed gate.  As I was sliding my bags down to pull underneath the gate, a kind young lady tapped her card so the gate would open for both of us.  I thanked her…twice.  How did both of us manage to get through in time without the gate closing, but it wouldn’t stay open long enough for me to walk through solo? This all happened in a matter of seconds but it felt like an eternity.  Now, my neck and shoulder feel funny.  I just want to curl up on this pillow and go to sleep.😩 Needless to say, I missed the train…my train.

I am so glad I have my music to relax me.  I almost didn’t have that this morning.  On the way to the train station, I was rummaging  through my purse and realized my earbuds were missing.  I remembered I loaned them to someone late last night and forgot to get them back.  And, my backup pair was on my nightstand because I took them out during a purse decluttering effort.  Y’all know I’m going to have three pair in my purse tomorrow right?  Anyway, my sister heard me fussing about it and asked if I wanted to stop to Walgreens to buy a new pair.  This surprised me because she is Miss AlwaysOnTimeDontLikeDiversions like a mugg.  Initially, I said no.  She asked again.  I realize she thought about the severity of the situation before I did.  Truth be told, I really think she was looking out more for others I encounter than me.  For those of you who don’t know, I use my earbuds at least 75% of the day to keep my sanity on public transportation AND at work (see MisoMe posts).  I am sooooo glad I listened to her.  

Stop the MFin presses.  Is this mofo vigorously brushing his teeth on the train?!!!😳  Where is he gonna put all of that?!! Is he going wait until he’s off the train?  I need answers!  Oh – y’all don’t believe me?  Here ya go…suffer with me. I really can’t with Marta today!

Follow up:  I made it out of the gate smoothly.  I still had to use the regular sized gate because a lady being pushed on a wheelchair obviously trumped me.  There was a slight moment of panic, but the gate gave me the regular allotted time so my body, backpack, purse, and pillow made it through safely.  

I’m going to need the universe to collaborate with me to make the rest of this day work in my favor.  Make it a good one everyone!


Misophonia IS Real

I really thought I was being Punk’d in my training class today.   I was in a prerequisite training Tuesday, so I knew I needed to get there early to get a decent seat…really to get A seat.  The previous class had more butts than seats.  I arrived 20 minutes early and was able to get a seat at a table for 2 with an outlet nearby.  The other tables seated 4-8.  I thought I hit the jackpot! Someone already had their laptop in the space next to mine, but they were not there.  I happily spread my stuff (a bunch as usual) across my area, got something to eat, and played around social media until it was time for the  3 hour class to start.

Right before the class started, my table mate appeared.  She looked harmless (not friendly), so I introduced myself and went back to what I was doing.  Before the instructor started, the lady next to me started crunching on fruit. 😳 I have never heard anyone make sliced watermelon sound so damn loud!  I’ve always hated the sound of people eating with stainless steel forks, but she managed to make me feel the same hate for plastic ware. Then the sniffing started.  😩😩😩Anyone who knows me, knows I absolutely hate hearing a grown ass person sniff.  At that moment, I drew my imaginary sword and measured it against her neck as a warning.  She stopped for a moment, so I put my sword back in its scabbard.  But, her sniffles were soon replaced by her unscrewing the top from her steel container to gulp on water.  I looked at her in disbelief and hit my coworker (she was in the same training) on chat to tell her about my misery.  She was sitting across the aisle from me so she could see my face which tickled her.  

As I was typing, another lady entered the training super late.  Where do you think they squeezed her?  Right next to my mad ass!🙄  We didn’t have enough room for another person, so she had to sit in the aisle and share table space…on my end.  Being the sweet person I am, I tried to make room for her on the table and scooted closer to old smack and sniff.  I was highly irritated, especially when I realized her greedy ass had somehow slipped out to get a whole new plate full of fruit!!!  Just when I thought I was going to lose my mind and all my cool, the instructor announced we were going to take a 15 minute break.

I got back late from break because I had to decompress before squeezing back between late aisle lady and the human noise box.  All was good at first, but after awhile snotty started sniffing again.  I decided to distract myself by jotting down all the triggers she was causing and a couple of not so nice comments beside them.  It was working for a while because I was cracking myself up.  But then the rustling sound of a bag followed by continuous cracking  made me turn to look at her.  Do y’all know this heifer was sitting there cracking and eating pistachios in the middle of training.  Before I knew it, I grabbed my mental sword and chopped her head clean off.  Only the vision of her shocked eyes on her detached head kept me from going straight Serial Mom on her ass in real life. Once she was MisoMe beheaded, she didn’t seem to bother me as much.  I don’t know if my energy made her stop or if I was lost in a loop of insanity, but all of a sudden everything was not as bad and I managed to pay some attention to the instructor.  But, I’m so glad I catch on quickly to software and the instructor gave us a very detailed spiral book of instructions because I would be so lost when I actually have to apply the learnings in the next few weeks.  I am proud to say, I made it out of class without cursing her slam out, so I must be getting better…right?😏


More on Misophonia

Misophonia is not just a condition in which people are irritated by sounds.  Everyone I know is irritated by some kind of sound.  Misophonia is more than an irritation, it is rage followed by other emotional overreactions.  A normal non-miso reaction is to roll your eyes or to ask someone to stop when they are making a noise.  My normal miso reaction would be envisioning myself beheading that person or if I can find my voice to ask them to stop, the words are usually laced with profanities.  In those moments (which lasts way longer than the sounds), rage takes over all other emotions.  Some triggers are worse than others, but they all make me much less civil.

All misophonia sufferers don’t react the same.  Some actually cry.  I was surprised at how many cried.  Many of us have learned to keep earbuds handy or we will just leave the room …likely abruptly.  I have long been okay with people thinking I’m rude because I leave or pop in my buds.  But, the alternative is much worse…I promise.

To read more on misophonia, the article below is pretty good.  I just wish there were not sooooo many ads.

MartaMe · MisoMe


Guess who had to move to the other end of the train car because this grown ass lady was popping her gum and blowing bubbles so loud I could hear it with my earbuds on the highest volume? Guess who hopes she bites a chunk clean off the side of her tongue?

MartaMe · MisoMe

Bad Decisions 

On this dreary, rainy day, I’m making bad commuter choices across the board.  I left work about an hour and a half later than normal due to meeting overload.  Because it was raining, I had to catch the shuttle instead of walking.  As we exited, I let the lady with luggage get off the shuttle before me.  Unfortunately, she chose not to take the elevator, thus holding up a bunch of disgruntled commuters behind her.  It would not have been so bad if we didn’t have to watch the train pull off as soon as we arrived to the top.  Next train – 7 minutes.😩

I decided to sit and mope instead of strategically standing in the area where the train doors open for the car that puts me off right in front of the escalator at my destination.  I didn’t even notice when the train started pulling in.  I tried to rush to my spot, but it was occupied by a group of women. I was 5th to get on the train, so my seat selection was limited.  I sat where a lady had her jacket strewn across the back of my seat.  You would think she’d move it…NOPE!  So, I had to use my back to slide it from behind me. 🙄  Then I hear this continuos popping sound and notice homegirl sitting diagonal from me still hasn’t learned to properly chew gum.  Before I could satisfactorily finish rolling my eyes, I got a seat mate and his grown ass had the nerve to be sucking on a lollipop.  There has to be some man laws for this!📜  Other than that, he was okay.  I didn’t really get a chance to access him because he only accompanied me for 2 stops.  Now, I have another seat mate.  She is not bringing anyone any sunshine.  We are both sitting here looking like Droopy.Perhaps she let a lady with luggage in front of her too.

I forgot to mention I made a serious seat selection faux pas.  I picked that awful seat that has someone sitting next to me AND perpendicularly in front of me.  I don’t know what I was thinking!!!  The girl who sat in that seat had so much stuff that her purse pressed up against my knees…bumping if she decided to fidget.  I couldn’t take anymore, so I moved.😤

As soon as I got comfortable, a loud talking dude plopped down hard next to me.  Before I could get fully irritated, he was gone.  He was my 3rd seat mate… 4th if I count ole perpendicular.  They all lasted only 2-3 stops.  But guess who rode the entire way with me? The lady with the damn gum!😔

Tomorrow, I’m racing EVERYONE…even ladies with luggage.


Simply Orange…Simply Irritating

So, I just screamed my way through a Simply Orange commercial.  I am braving watching Chopped in real time, so I could not fast forward through.  Plus, I could not find the remote in time.  I don’t know which is worse – the pouring of the orange juice or the man’s voice.  The screaming helped.  It was not high pitched – I used my low bass. LOL I guess that’s why my family did not coming running or yell out to see what was the matter.  They just figured it was me being crazy ole me. 🙂

It did encourage me to find my remote…just in time!  The chopped judges started scraping their silverware against the plates and talking while tasting.  MUTE!


No, No, No Geico!

Who in the world created the Geico Emergency Roadside commercial?!!!  I almost threw my remote at the TV.  I was working on a dashboard with the TV in the background when I noticed myself tensing up.  I looked up and added a visual to all the damn straw sucking and other annoying noises going on.  I had to pause the TV until I could fast forward.   This is why I don’t watch TV live anymore.  I must have the option to fast forward through commercials because lately advertisers think obnoxiousness is the way to go lately.  If I had their insurance, I would be on the phone switching right now.  And, I would list “sensory assault” as my reason for termination.