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MartaMe Memory 7.10.15

I know damn well this mofo is not about to fall asleep on my shoulder!!! It’s bad enough I had to deal with his strong ass unfavorable cologne, his twitching, and him taking his shoes off and playing twinkle toes until he dozed off. What Is gon do???

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MartaMe Memory 7.7.17

Homegirl wants to give her baby hair full credit today. I see you shawty! Lls. And, I’m so glad homeboy moved because he just could not be still. I’m not sure if it was the music or something deeper. Dude diagonal from me caught my face and was cracking up. But, he was replaced by this lady with the warmest left thigh and she keeps rubbing herself. I don’t like it…help. I want homeboy back. At least we could sync songs and dance together. I can’t do shit with this warm thigh but cringe.  

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MartaMe Memory 6.18.17

All of these newly empty seats and his ass wants to stay posted up beside me. MOVE!!! It’s bad enough I had to deal with the smell of homegirl and her big bag of dirty laundry smelling like boodussy. Then she had the nerve to get off and have everyone getting on looking at us like Wtf! The set up!!! Imma need her to febreze that laundry bag the next time she rolls like that. There are rules to this!!!

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Gumageddon

I am hella tired this morning. I went to an event to support a coworker so I didn’t get in until almost midnight which means I didn’t go to bed until 1:30ish. Anyway, something happened at the event that I’ve been thinking about all morning. Before the event, we went to dinner and my genius self decided to get a burger with onions – not thinking about the fact that I was going to be meeting a bunch of new people. So when we got there and I started talking to people, I became self-conscious about my breath situation and started frantically searching my purse for gum, mints, candy…anything. The guy I was sitting next to heard me ask my coworkers for gum and he said, “I’ll find you some gum.” I smiled and didn’t think anything of it…went back to talking to my coworkers. About 10 minutes later, he tapped me on my shoulder and extended his hand. I looked down and saw a white object. It took me a few minutes to realize it was gum…an unwrapped piece of gum fondled by him and whoever he got it from!😳😩😩 I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I wasn’t eating that damn gum. He looked so happy and proud that he found me that piece of gum that I didn’t want to be rude. He didn’t know he was handing germ wrapped gum to a girl with over 10 packs of individually wrapped hand wipes in her purse. That poor fellow didn’t know I was having visions of the faceless person who gave him the gum digging in their nose and visions of him scratching his nuts.😔 He was just a nice guy standing there with his hand extended, offering the new lady the gum she was frantically searching for earlier. Either that or he reeeallly thought I needed it.😂😂😂 After all of those thoughts stopped running through my head, I found my manners, took the gum, thanked him with the kindest smile I could paste on my face, and slid that filthy white wax ball in my pocket. Then I spent the rest of the damn evening wondering what it was about me that made him think I would eat that gum. And, here I sit this morning wondering the same thing.😩
SN: I had some great conversations with strangers last night, including gum man. I had to do an exercise with him that sparked a very interesting conversation. And, I didn’t feel any remorse hitting him with every H & W word I could think of. Remember, he did try to poison me with a bacteria tablet. So we are even in my book.😜

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MeIsm Moment 4.5.14

“Beauty fades” – that sounds like some shit ugly chicks say or someone says to try to make another feel bad for being appreciated for their beautiful appearance. I get tired of hearing and seeing it. Everything will fade eventually, so I say use what you have now to attain what you want – be it beauty, brains, talent, vision or all of the above. They all belong to you and if others want to use any of it for personal or business reasons, be proud and use it to your advantage. They are all marketable and one does not necessarily outweigh the other. Don’t let people shame you into downplaying your strong points or dimming your light just to make them feel more secure and comfortable. That’s an issue they must deal with, not you. Be your best you!

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IntroMe…We

I am mischievous, organized, neurotic, insightful, creative, and amusing…so I’ve been told.

I have been planning to start this blog for over a year.  The problem is, I am a master procrastinator.  I have been using many outlets (phone notes, FB, old fashioned pad/pen, and good ole conversations) to express the many things running through my dome, but I finally mustered up enough motivation to put it all in one place.  Bear with me as I learn the ins and outs of blogging.

I have so many thoughts, ideas, insanities, and alters swimming around in my head…my personal version of “Herman’s Head” (HH).  I believe I just aged myself with that reference.   But, all of my time on this earth has given my HH family time to develop and mature…well maybe not mature…not all of them anyway.  A more recent and accurate reference would be United States of Tara.  I have an Alice, Buck, T (but more like a teen boy), Shoshana and many others not represented in USoT, but I promise I don’t have a Gimme.  LOL

This blog has been created to express and entertain.  I hope I don’t offend anyone in the process, but knowing the way my brain works and the different levels of sensitivity in our society, I probably will.  Sorry in advance – I don’t plan to do much apologizing later.  It’s just what pops up as I wander around this big ole world.

Enjoy!

Me