MartaMe

MartaMe: Funktified 1.10.19

Somebody on this train has this whole car stinking!!! Smelling like 100+ pounds of getback! This little girl in front of me is alternating between counting down their stops and whining β€œI can’t breathe”!🀭😩😩 She pointed out the culprit😳…damn kids.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Her mom scolded her. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here with my face tightly wrapped watching folks reactions as they get on. Po folks think they lucked up on a seat. Watching those smiles quickly go to surprise and then all frowned up…baaaaaabbbbeeeee.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I’m going to track some reactions for the next few stops:

– I hope these folks don’t think it’s my kids. (I actually did think it was her baby when I got on.😬)

– walked on and walked right back offπŸšΆπŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸšΆπŸ½β€β™€οΈ

– walked on and discussed getting off at the next stop. Got off at next stopπŸ€­πŸ€”πŸšΆπŸ½β€β™€οΈ This was the number 1 reaction.

– Just said, β€œGOTDAMN!” and moved way down the car😷➑️➑️

Hold up – the little girl just asked her mom if she could put her earbuds in her nose. Poor baby.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

More reactions watching:

– This shit stinks!

– My skin is too sensitive for this shit!

– Awwww hell naw!

– Oooohhhhhhhh (followed by a quick U-turn)

– I can’t

– This is not working for me

– Anybody got any air freshener

– lady walks down aisle spraying perfume…some thanked her. I can’t smell either way so πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

– bumping all into each other trying to get off before the doors closed once that smell hit them. πŸ˜‚

– faces as they get on:πŸ˜•πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜’πŸ˜³πŸ₯΅πŸ˜–πŸ€­πŸ˜§πŸ˜²πŸ˜·πŸ€’πŸ™ŠπŸ˜ 

I am not laughing at the individual because I don’t know his story, but he doesn’t look like he smells. Perhaps that’s why folks are so surprised. But, the reactions and u-turns being made are hella comical!!!β†©οΈπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ real tears are running down my face as I try to suppress my laughter at these folks’ reactions.😭😭😭 Luckily, he slept through it all.

Meanwhile, I can’t smell a damn thing because my face is wrapped so tightly and my airtamer is in full affect. If I pass out, it’s my own damn fault.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

MartaMe

Wtf is that smell?

It’s July 3rd so I figured this would be a light, uneventful train ride. And, it pretty much was until I got to the half way point.  I was minding my business – looking online when all of a sudden my nose got mugged!  I shot my head up to see if there was a baby in the area.  But, nope…no baby to blame.  The more I looked around, the less I could breathe.  I cut off my sense of smell the best I could, but I couldn’t breathe because my lips had already pressed together tightly to protect my mouth.  After a few minutes, I couldn’t hold all of that so I panicked and eventually lost control of everything…frantically gasping for air as I looked down and regretted my FitBit wasn’t a medical alert bracelet…help.

I eventually caught my breath and looked around.  I got increasingly pissed that everyone else was looking so normal…as if they couldn’t smell anything.  I’m about to die and they aren’t even wrinkling their noses!  Wtf?!!  I wanted to yell – Y’ALL DON’T SMELL THAT SHIT – literally!  Cause it definitely was not a fart – it had to be a shart…or worse.😩

As the train cleared a bit, the smell dissipated.  I started thinking seriously about the fact that my sense of smell may just be extra sensitive like my ability to hear.  I promise y’all, neither of those are blessings.  Ability to hear and smell, yes. Extra sensitive smelling and hearing abilities, no!  Of all the freaking superpowers, why those?! Why can’t I wake up and see without having to grab for my glasses that my son swears can burn ants?  Why not super speed so I would’ve been able to escape as soon as that smell hit my nose?  Or, super strength so I could become a Marvel Marta vigilante character?  I could think of a very long list of superpowers I’d prefer, but I guess I’m stuck smelling and hearing a bunch of crap I don’t want to.  Or just maybe, my true superpower is staying on the functional side of insanity…appearing totally normal while all of these crazy thoughts scramble around my head.  I’ll take that. 😏